Mmm

bright lights

What have you done today?

“We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years.End quote. —George Carlin”


From Lolita

when soul meets body

source: midnightsa

something i experienced in the wee hours, when no one's watching, when the thunder cracks, when you drop your guard.

button pusher

only through destroying myself can i discover the greater power of my spirit - chuck palahniuk

Hey, meow

The cat loves sleeping on my clothes.

cruising down the highway on a cold, cold night

Top down in a convertible, whizzing down a highway to Alexis Bistro with friends. Good times. Got too wasted.

I'm wearing:

Philosophy Men skull scarf

Cotton On Men Tank top (I've been buying tons of men's stuff lately, I think I look nice in them)

Massimo Dutti leggings

Zara vest

Ylang Ylang charm bracelet

Clutch from Tangs

Mismatched

I see the mismatched colours on the bed - blue, white, green - and wonder if that applies to our lives as well. That our thoughts are equally disjointed, reasons unknown, so unreal, just placements. Even the curtains don't match but that's okay, I like them like that. Nothing is perfect, and I find comfort in that. That we're all here to make mistakes. And I'm unanswerable to none of you; your opinions of me are void.

"The more you change, the less you feel."

music for the soul: galapagos - the smashing pumpkins]

Run, baby, run

Eight hours later

At home, nursing tired feet and calves from the long run. Odie is asleep beside my feet as I sit here, typing away on the white Mac.

Ten hours earlier

Awoken by the phone alarm and I stayed in bed until I knew I shouldn't anymore. Sher came over, so we walked to the Piazza, where hundreds of others were awaiting for the cue at the start line. As the loud horn filled the air, everyone whizzed by us, including Sher later on, and we were separated by time and distance. I was on my own, feeding off No Doubt, Kings of Leon and other random music on my playlist. I kept my eyes on a few individuals I picked as my pacesetters but soon after, they all disappeared as well. I kept replacing them like worn socks. One by one. I'd jogged, then walked, then jogged again.

As I crossed the road, I had hit the wall, and I was close to just walking the whole marathon. It felt like I've done 5km and even after I picked the green elastic band (which I later found out it was the 6km mark), I was in no mood to run.

But one of the pacesetters kept my attention and I didn't think about anything else but to finish it. I was giving myself 2 hours and 30 minutes to finish the 11km mark. By the time I reached the finish line, it was just 2 hours. My soles and calves were in so much pain, I literally dragged them home.

So I used to be one of those who sniggled at those who tortured themselves running to death, but now I am one of them and I can't say I'm not pleased with my new profound achievement.

hurt

“I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain. the only thing that’s real. the needle tears a hole, the old familiar sting. try to kill it all away. but I remember everything. what have I become? my sweetest friend. everyone I know, goes away in the end. and you could have it all - my empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt.

I wear this crown of thorns, upon my liar’s chair. full of broken thoughts, I cannot repair. beneath the stains of time. the feelings disappear. you are someone else. I am still right here. what have I become? my sweetest friend. everyone I know goes away in the end. and you could have it all. my empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt.

if I could start again, a million miles away. I would keep myself. I would find a way.”

JOHNNY CASH - Hurt

play by play

I wrote a little script last Saturday afternoon, in my little white dress, on the couch.

I didn't know what prompted me to do it; it's more of a short theatre/skit more than anything and I could envision how the stage play might look like. Just need a bit more tweaking as I got carried away (speaking of Carried Away, can someone buy for me Diva's Carried Away range?).

Now, what do I do with that little piece I wrote? It'd be interesting to watch it come to live on stage, pitch darkness with just the spotlight on the characters. Real characters. Not to give away too much information, it's about a girl who is messed up.

On foot in KL

I've been busy with Christina Aguilera, really

If you've been wondering what the hell I've been up to, I've been busy with Christina, really.

This is a screenshot of her website. My website MSN Entertainment is on it!

Worked hardddd with MSN Singapore and Sony Music to bring you the exclusive video of Xtina's 'Not Myself Tonight.' Please click on my link thank you very much.

shapes, colours and objects that recently captured my attention

It is the summer of my smiles

ain't so hard to recognise

upon us all, a little rain must fall

this is the mystery of the quotient

speak to me only with your eyes, it is to you I give this tune

[music for the soul: the rain song - led zeppelin]

oh em gee, i want his scarf

source: whatisrealityanyway

Not only I want the scarf, I wish Jeff Buckley was still alive and I'd be at CBGB watching his gig. If only, if only. Oh my, how much Axl Rose has aged. I wouldn't mind catching GnR too.

Baby, I didn't forget to take my meds

With Brian Molko of Placebo! Photo with Nokia X6 by a rather shaky hand

My awesome XL Topman shirt with cutout sleeves, cassette tape icon and not one or two but three of Placebo's autographs: Brian, Steve, Stefan. Not for sale.

If you were born a rock star stalker, you die a rock star. Apparently, I'm this close to that transition; someone left me a message on my status. Anyway, I got a call to rush to a nearby hotel, to which I did and didn't regret it one bit.

I totally forgot my Sharpie (a must-have in my bag alongside one million other things) so I got a very nice hotel staff to go dig a marker pen for me.

I was with a writer from a magazine when we were making small chats with Brian. And I have all of this in recording:

Brian: "Do you know that 'junk' means male genitalia in the US?"
Me: No! Tell me more!
Brian: (laughs and smiles shyly) Ah... never mind.
Me: No really!
Brian: (laughs)

Then I actually fumbled because I thought Brian was going to be intimidating (but he turned out otherwise) and I asked him: "Can you interview my shirt?" (when I meant autograph, whatthefuck).

So, naturally, Brian LAUGHED AT ME and held the marker pen to my shirt and said: "Hello, I'm interviewing you."

I realised what I said and rolled my eyes silly and played along: "Yes, the cassette tape on my shirt is recording, haha, autograph I mean, ohmygawd."

He was so nice. With a capital N. He uses MAC eyeliner by the way. I was interested in his polysexualness but couldn't ask him with time running out. Shook hands, exchanged smiles and I was left starstruck.

I think the last time I was this starstruck was when Incubus was in town, and that interview with Ben Gibbard of Death Cab For Cutie. Yep.


Then there was Steve who was lingering in the lobby, to which I struck a conversation with him and telling him that: "your band's only been here like what, once in a thousand years, so yes, I'm definitely gonna be at your concert" when he asked.

Stefan didn't say a word when I got him to scribble my back, though. I is sked of him.
After that, I smsed everyone and went 'oh em gee, oh em gee'. Yep, that was pretty much my day before the concert. Serious interview transcript, I will link the url later.

The concert? I climbed over railings and stood on a chair to get a better view alongside Loque of Butterfingers. I is not ladylike. But I had so much fun; all the stalking, climbing was well worth it. Don't learn from me; it's my trade secret. Read it from my book.

Oh, which reminds me, the PR was such a bitch to begin with, that I actually ended up with four tickets. Two unused extra tickets which I could have peddle off for money; wtf is wrong with me. Of course, I didn't, hello!

It has been a year

All of my regrets and troubles started right about this time and I'm glad to have escape unscathed, albeit scarred mentally. But some good did come out of it; I learnt a lot about myself and what I can do. I can make that move, take that risk and while I did lose a lot other things, it only taught me to be stronger.

Out of your disease, we found the courage to move on.

Shapeshifter

Shapes, recently, have been attracting my attention a lot lately.

Silence

I want to know if you come with me toward not walking and not speaking, I want to know if we finally will reach no communication: finally going with someone to see pure air, rays of light over the daily sea or a landbound object and finally having nothing to trade, without the goods to furnish as the colonizers had, exchanging coupons for silence. Here I purchase your silence. I agree: I give you mine with one provision: that we do not understand each other.

Pablo Neruda

one word

Your Cell Phone? nokiax6.
Your Hair? long.
Your Mother? harimau.
Your Father? there.
Your Favorite Food? thai.
Your Dream Last Night? none.
Your Favorite Drink? iced.
Your Dream/Goal? happy.
What Room Are You In? hall.
Your Hobby? dreaming.
Your Fear? loneliness.
Where Do You See Yourself In Six Years? not here.
Where Were You Last Night? werner's.
Something That You Aren’t? two-face.
Muffins? urk.
Wish List Item? polaroid.
Where Did You Grow Up? lalaland.
Last Thing You Did? website.
What Are You Wearing? tank.
Your TV? quiet.
Your Pets? Odie!.
Friends? handful.
Your Life? more.
Your Mood? missing.
Vehicle? car.
Something You Aren’t Wearing? rings.
Your Favorite Store? uniqlo.
Your Favorite Color? red.
When Was The Last Time You Laughed? yesterday.
Last Time You Cried? weeks.
Your Best Friend? far.
One Place You Go To Over And Over Again? bookstore.
Facebook? guilty.
Favorite Place To Eat? nando's.

Got this from notebook doodles and started wasting time on it. Did I mention I love quizzies?

XX-rated Machine

awesome pictures by X6

A while ago, I was lying in bed, just enjoying the lazy afternoon with The XX playing in the background. I remembered the scorching weather, the sweat on my skin and the smooth synth beats – that moment felt like it only just happened yesterday.

I said to myself that I enjoyed how the music came together; at times it was quiet, then sporadic and desolate. I predicted that, The XX, alongside another fave new band of mine, White Lies, would make it big in 2010. I also swore that I’d attend their concert if they ever stop near our shores.

I was right.

When rumours were swirling about The XX opening for Florence & The Machine, I squealed and the second the ticketing counters opened, I didn’t think twice about getting the floored seats near the stage.

Fast forward to the concert, I was catching up with Mike and the good ol’ Universal folks at Fairmont Hotel, where we’d meet Florence at an intimate session. I was hoping to catch up with The XX but they were nowhere to be seen, sadly.

Florence was such a doll. She had the cutest smile and her bright red hair was pleated in plaids. She was warm and giggled when I said I’d like to have my hair braided up like hers.

Still no sign of The XX.

It was eight when I finally walked into Esplanade and the second I heard the familiar beats of ‘Intro’ blaring from the speakers, I ran up the stairs in pitch darkness. I immediately pulled out my X6 and went straight to the stage. Soon, everyone else followed suit.

For those who have been diligently playing their record on repeat, you’d know the words to their songs and the sonic beats Jamie Smith bangs on the drum machine. Then there’s Oliver’s and Romy’s hush-hush purring vocals soaring through the mic, scattering syllables and alphabets to our delight.

It has begun.

Haunting, piercing, mellow – the blue rays that wrapped around the three-member band transported me back to the intimate and sadness of a time lost. I shut my eyes and sang to songs like ‘Fantasy’, ‘Shelter’, ‘VCR’, ‘Crystallised’ and more. If you ask me, the trio may have had little crowd connection – Oliver was given the task to mouth a couple ‘thank yous’ and occasionally stared at his feet (shoegazing, mates, Mike said) but I couldn’t help but realise how he was so much into the music. With black their main dress theme, Oliver kept swinging his hips in tight ¾ pants and layered necklace – it was quite a enthralling sight. Romy was quiet but her soothing vocals kept the crowd wanting more; it was as if she was reading passages from a love journal.

The mood was intense and personal.

I especially liked the throbbing bass of ‘Fantasy’ which shook the stage and balconies. Then there’s Oliver banging on the drums which upped the beats further. Sure the band sounds like their debut album, fresh and different as it sounds, I thought it wasn’t monotonous at all and the 45-minutes set felt too short. I was even adamant that they should extend their set to one hour max and that Florence should cut down hers by 30 minutes.

Ah, Florence. She was squealing like a banshee and truthfully, I could only tolerate her within 30 minutes. I liked ‘Dog Days Are Over’, ‘Hurricane Drunk’, ‘Cosmic love’ – which she sang and it was pure bliss to watch her flap her witchy outfit and prancing around in her sparkly underwear. But after that I got tired and sat down. Presence-wise, Florence was a doll; she captivated the audience with her cutesy stance of Polaroid moments: taking pictures of crowd and herself, headbanging to her own songs and bending over like she was practising some very important yoga moves. I was told that Florence’s set could only be made up of her and Chris, the drummer, and it would just be equally mesmerising like that.

By the time it was over, I felt like I was overcome with much heavy-laden emotions. It was like a huge knot inside of me that continued burrowing its way through. I was blown away by The XX. It’ll be interesting to see what their next record would offer: more dance-y synth beats, perhaps? Once a bedroom band that’s now touring around the world, The XX makes for niche music that is specially crafted with adulation and rapture. I’ll never forget this moment in time.

For more reviews:

Eyeris

Smalltimetraveller

spririted soul calm

Something about the beach makes me want to just leave everything else behind. Whether it's the waves crashing against rocks furiously, or the hawk circling above the sea for its prey; the effect is always calming. I'd doze on the boat in my two-piece while the boys try their mightiest to catch the biggest bait and then everything else doesn't matter anymore.

Every day I'd wake up to familiarity of palm trees, clear blue skies and sea and white sands. Not even a single sound of cars, no blaring honks but just boats docking at mini piers dropping off kitchen essentials. Newspapers come in at 3. We'd fly a kite until we see nothing but a speck of blue dot in the sky.

I want to lie down on the white sand, fine as they are like miniature shiny diamonds, with both of my palms facing downwards, being one with the earth. And when I open my eyes, all I want and could see are more diamonds in the sky, with stories of a thousand years waiting to be told.

Just waiting here makes my spirited soul calm, far from the city's entanglement. Far from the broken pieces I thread on barefooted.

I'm alone now.

I have nothing to hide. I can bury my toes into the sand. I'm not and unlike all of you who are unconscious of who they can be and are. I close my eyes. And I return back to the hills where a school of birds are taking flight. "Classes are starting later. You are early."

The trees move together and the wind brushes softly against my cheek. Calm. White. Like a blank sheet of paper.

I'm riding the X6. Nokia X6, baby.

taken with X6

So, I received an email a while back and thinking it was a media event (I never do read my emails thoroughly, please excuse my bad), I had RSVP for two. Text100, the PR agency for Nokia, returned my email to say that I had been one of the few chosen 'bloggers' to preview and receive the new Nokia X6 - which has not even been released in Malaysia's market yet!

Now, I'm not a lucky girl; I only consider myself lucky if I'm thisclosetomyrockstars so this was a nice surprise considering I got robbed off my ck clutch which contained my belongings including a Nokia 6300.

Back to the phone.

It's pretty bulky in my hands and despite the shape, I managed to drop it not once but twice! It survived both falls with no scratches so I'm thankful. Brownie Point 1

Initially, I was fretting out because I had trouble registering, downloading music, then getting the songs rejected by my phone because it had no license (?!!) - by the time I was done with the whole registration, I got used to Nokia Ovi Player, the software used to download music. Songs are pegged with special license so you won't be pirating and sharing it with your friends; understandable since royalties need to be paid. Brownie Point 1

The user interface is pretty easy to use since everything is touch screen. Urgh moment - it tends to lag a good 5-6 seconds. Minus Brownie Point 1

Accessing the Internet through 3G is simple so I'm fairly pleased since I'm such a Facebook and Twitter addict. Brownie Point 1

Music! X6 has up to 32gb of storage for all my music needs and we've been lucky to be given a 1-year's free subscription to access the Nokia music storage where I managed to download The Doors, Nirvana, The Killers, No Doubt, David Bowie and even obscure bands like AIR and Eels. So this indie girl is pretty happy. Brownie Point 1

How can you forget about photos! It takes pictures with 5 mega pixels clearity and you can see here how much fun Suanie, Fireangel and myself had at Zeta Bar with the X6. Brownie Point 1

Headphones are freaking awesome. They are foldable, which means you could bend them into half and fold them into a nice bag. And they are black. I like black. But someone told me white would be nicer. I digress. Brownie Point 1.

You'd prolly be tempted to compare this with Apple iPhone and it does share the same interface; but do bear in mind if you fry your Apple phone batt, you have to purchase the NEW MODEL all over again.

How many of you out there can say they have a unreleased X6 again, hmm? Yes, I'm gonna rub it in till the cows come home.

Are day Green?

Where & when: 14 Jan 2010, Singapore Indoor Stadium

Since I've volunteered to write a review for MSN Malaysia Entertainment, I shall refrain from writing more here, except to say that I'm a renewed Green Day fan and that I had fun and it was a fucking awesome punk rock concert. How does Billy and the rest have the energy to prance from one end of the stage to the other - beats me. My favourite part? The accoustic-stripped down medley by Billy Joe during encore. I sang my heart out. And I'm gonna stick my confetti in my Moleskine; upon closer inspection, there are skulls imprinted on them. How lovely!